![]() ![]() A gradient of childhood self-control predicts health, wealth, and public safety. ![]() DOI: 10.Moffitt TE, Arseneault L, Belsky D, et al. Setting free the bears: Escape from thought suppression. Thought suppression and self-injurious thoughts and behaviors. Remembering the best and worst of times: Memories for extreme outcomes bias risky decisions. encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentID=4552&ContentTypeID=1 Love, desire, and the suppression of thoughts of romantic alternatives. The prevalence and nature of unrequited love. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy. Healthline has strict sourcing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical associations. A regular meditation practice can teach you to sit with thoughts and let them pass as you observe them with compassion and curiosity. Meditation is one helpful way to practice exploring and accepting unwanted thoughts. Opening the box and letting your thoughts loose reduces their urgent need for acknowledgment. Accepting them, and the circumstances around them, can help you navigate distress more productively. Shoving the thoughts in a mental box and hiding the key can make them seem forbidden, off-limits. You can’t push pain away forever, though, and when you finally allow yourself to confront it, you might be unpleasantly surprised by its intensity. Unrequited love, humiliation, unjust treatment, plain old spite - any of these can cause plenty of distress, which you reject to protect yourself. Those thoughts might keep returning because you haven’t yet accepted the reality of the situation. That might sound completely illogical, but this technique can really work. When you can’t seem to stop thinking about someone, try turning toward those thoughts instead of away. Stepping back from an emotional view can help you avoid taking someone’s behavior personally, which can make it easier to shrug off. Perhaps they treat everyone with a similar sharpness. If you can’t escape the suspicion that your co-worker is out to get you, challenge yourself to find other explanations for their behavior. ![]() All they want to do is make me miserable.” When you take the time to sift through your memories, you’ll likely identify a few that shift your perspective to a more realistic shade of gray. Find some evidence to support or refute idealized impressions, like: “They never let me down,” “They always knew just what to say,” or “They’re so horrible.Laying out specific things that drew you to someone can help you realize it might not be all that difficult to find others with similar characteristics. I’ll never find anyone else like them,” ask yourself what made them so fantastic. ![]() Instead of thinking, “They were so perfect. You can combat them by gently nudging your memories back toward the realm of strict facts. These exaggerated perceptions can take over your mental space pretty easily, making it even harder to let go. People have more nuance to them than right and wrong or good and bad, but memory biases can increase your chances of remembering wonderful or terrible things over more normal, everyday traits or events. It’s not uncommon to build people up as extremes, especially when time has faded the more realistic memories. ![]()
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